My Voice

My voice of choice for 2012 will continue to be what I have been all along, motivational, inspirational, honest; filled with real truth. I’m going to continue to sing my song; I don’t know how to be anything else, or less.  In 2012, I want to dig a little deeper & excavate the last of whatever binds me. I want to fully and completely find the authentic me; finally. I’ll do less thinking about, crying over and analyzing men, and what I can and cannot do or say. That’s got to change, because anything less would be well, insane. And I’m tired of the insanity, so instead of men in the singular I’m going to instead focus on mankind in the plural, inclusive way that it’s meant to be. And if he who needs to finds me well, that’s alright with me - but it will no longer haunt, paralyze scare or confine me. I love – love, but this silliness is over for me. Instead of worrying about why he won’t call, I’m going to work on my bottom line and booty! Real truth; This is my voice for 2012  ~V

What I Learned in 2011

With 2011 quickly coming to an end, here are some things about love I learned....

1. It's about what you do, not what you say: People will say almost anything to get in the door, but seldom live up to the hype. You must be willing to really listen - take your heart out of things early on to see if that man or woman is really worth your time. Is he telling you what you want to hear, or is he genuine and sincere?
2. Take a break: When dating and relationships start to take a toll on you, it's okay to step back and out for a moment. Recharging helps to energize you and put past mistakes and hurts in perspective. It's not a time to have a pity party or beat yourself up because of past mistakes. Take the time to heal, understand and learn. Best of all, use the time to find some new things to get involved in.
3. Being alone is a positive thing: Sometimes, we get so caught up in what society, friends, well meaning family, etc think we should be doing, that we end up with people that are clearly not meant to be in our lives. Settling, involving yourself in toxic relationships, being unhappy are all things that are unnecessary. It's okay to be alone. There is no negative to being with and enjoying yourself. If you don't enjoy you who else will? Master it.
4. Kissing frogs: If you really want to meet someone, you are going to have to step away from your computer, get cleaned up and get outside your home. The UPS and FedEx guys are cool, but you need to date! Be willing to simply get out and have some fun. And if a great relationship comes of it, well those are bonus points. But you must be willing to kiss a few frogs to find your prince or princess.
5. Love is a risk: You have to be willing to get out there, and expose yourself a bit in order to truly find the one. There were times when I thought I had hit pay dirt, only to discover sadly, that he was just a rock, not a diamond. But I learned, and that's just as important to me.

Yes, 2012 is just around the corner. And I look forward to your adventures and mine in dating in the New Year. Let's both get ready to laugh, cry, live and whatever else...

V

Happy Holidays!

Christmas is near. Hopefully you are almost done with shopping, and ready for the family and friends you’ll see and share the day with. I’m taking a moment now to wish everyone a safe and richly blessed day. My wishes for all…that you be of good cheer whether you are near or far.

For those like me who are single, still embrace the day. If you don’t have friends or family to celebrate with, still surround yourself with wonderful self-love – God will be sending someone to love your way – soon enough – for now simply continue to be ready. Consider taking stock of who you’ve been in 2011, and think about how better you can be for 2012.

Revolutionize yourself! Shake loose of all the negative things you’ve experienced this year – from bad dates, to bad relationships. It’s over thank goodness. Don’t take it with you into 2012. And if you’re holding out for or on someone, it’s time to let go. It’s a painful choice, but one that is necessary. The fear of being alone allows us to be in things we have no business being in – whether it’s being involved with someone who is already committed, to being in relationships that we are unhappy in. Whatever it is let go, and let God. Inject your life with passion. Your life should give you chills.

I know it’s hard being alone – looking at the empty chair as you eat, getting into a cold bed. But you have yourself, and sometimes that’s the best place for you. This time last year, I was completely alone, living away from all family and friends. I awoke Christmas morning crying and having a nice pity party. But I decided to get up and prepare my dinner and celebrate the day. And I felt so much better. It’s all in how you look at things. It all sounds cliché I know, but it beats the alternative. You are what you think really. And some of us are thinking some crazy stuff!


Today
One more day
I was given
To be blessed
To be a blessing
One more day
To make a difference
In who I am
And what I choose to say
One more day
To change
To live
Breathe
To tell the truth
In word or deed
One more day
I was given
Today
Amen

Be blessed!

The Entrance

It's been a long time since I've posted anything, and I apologize. I've been caught in this thing called life. But I'm back, and hope to bring some new and interesting thoughts and pieces to you soon. I'm still here; still single and still in love with love....

This piece was written after yet another dismal encounter with a frog - I mean guy. I am often shocked at the things that spring forth from a man's mouth in an initial encounter. I'm not a prude, but fail to understand how speaking of what you can and will do for me sexually when I'm trying to get to know if I should even spend any reasonable time with you, is effective. It's not for me anyway. But to each his own I suppose. That's just not the way to my heart.

So quick are you to tell me what you can do sexually
I'm 50
I've been and done some of the best of things
How about something different
Impress me with intellectual stimuli
Stroke me with your words
Play footsie with my mind
Kiss my heart with something witty
Make me orgasm with laughter
Wait
If you really want to see me squirm?
Share with me your dreams
What you read
Your fears
The things in life you need
It's simple for me really
You want what's between my legs?
The entrance is through my mind