The End©

As I go along on this love journey, I realize that the ups and downs will always be there, no matter what happens. There are always lessons to be learned, memories to get rid of, memories to hold on to, and the list goes on and on. When I first started writing, I thought I would just be dealing with one aspect of love; Pain and it's aftermath. But I realize in writing that love is not definitive - starting here and ending or continuing there. It forms a circle that has no beginning or end. The feelings you may have for a person who has left your life, linger. They leave a fingerprint that is never erased. You move on, but it's still there.

In this circle called love, you are in different phases, different aspects of the circle, but it's still a circle. So as I was writing this poem, even as I got to the end and said the end, I recognize that this was just an ending to one cycle; one chapter. There are plenty of other adventures awaiting me. And the circle continues, just as I do.....




When does it end?
The feeling of loving you
missing you?
It's like an addiction or lingering illness
just when I think I'm done with
~the missing of you
~and the loving of you
A memory starts the cycle for me all over again
~a song
~your cologne
~a flash of memory
I notice that the feeling of needing you
the desire to want you back in my life
starts to dim a bit more
each time I revisit this space
But the other things - feelings and emotions
still press my mind and heart
As I sit and pour out my heart and pain
across pages and pages
crying and writing for what seems like forever
I wonder what do you do to cope
or is it just simply over for you?
Is it harder or easier for men?
I can only see and feel this pain through my lens
Is this feeling universal?
The majority of me knows this break-up was for the best
for both of us
There was way too much pain and drama
that crossed between you and I
pain that eclipsed whatever joy there was
it drained what little air there was between us
left us dry and wanting
I never want to revisit that
I never want to take that path - with you or anyone ever again
But like an addiction
The minority of me
~craves the good times we managed to have
~craves you
somehow, those memories are what I go to first
Which is pure craziness
So here I go again
pen pressed firmly in my hand
writing
which is far better than the phone
~calling you - just to say hi
~texting you - just to check on you
No, these are the lonelies
the things you do to ease the cravings and insanity
just to get by
I choose to cure my disease, fight the addiction
by writing it out
Yes, I have called you - emailed and sent texts
Yes, I have taken your calls and emails and texts
But I'm noticing the craving to do so is starting to dim
as I do the things to help me cure
acknowledge the pain
affirm my love for me
unpack the burden of whatever is holding me captive
and most of all, get back out there again eventually
When does it end?
I suppose I'll always love you
But missing you?
that must truly end
The way you and I did
I'm bound and determined
the end is near
and my minority will not win
to this craving I will not continue to give in
My strength lies in getting beyond this
this is the end......