It's Not You....©

"It's not you, it's me"...have you ever heard this words, or better yet, have they ever crossed your lips? I've heard this line a time or two, and I realize that you are never prepared for those five simple words. It's just another way of ending things right; a seemingly more gentle way of softening the blow. Ease the burden of bad news. We never want to be perceived as the bad guy, especially when that other person has done nothing seriously to cause such a departure.

Here's the crazy thing about those words people - it is about you! Of course it is. What I believe is that the person who is sharing this information has looked into their crystal ball of life and they didn't see how you fit in their future. So it is about you ~ because it's not you. So simple. That was a revelation that came to me as I was writing this poem. And it's a more honest reflection of what is really happening. It's okay to decide that someone is not for you. But it's more honest to simply be willing to be honest. It helps put a real closure to things, and it helps that person to be better equipped going forward. Because often, they are left to wonder what it was that they did wrong. When it has nothing to do with being wrong or right. It just wasn't.

So take solace in the fact that yep, it's you, but know that it will always be about you - you just have to find the person who is willing to have it be about you AND that you are okay as is. No fillers or preservatives necessary. Just plain, old natural you will do......



It's Not You
It's Me
A simple phrase
common
The question I want to ask
How does it ease my pain?
my heart still feels the same ~ still hurts
It's Not You
It's Me
Oh right
They are supposed to comfort
So that I don't self reflect
beat myself up
somehow feel better
But it still hurts
It's Not You
It's Me
Why would I feel better?
You're still not here
I'll be alone
try thinking
put yourself in my shoes
Now do these words ring true - to you?
It's Not You
It's Me
This is such bullshit
It really is
Because if it wasn't me
wasn't some part of me
You would stay
You wouldn't leave
It's Not You
It's Me
I watch you
tear us apart
choose to leave
Instead of choosing me
and my heart breaks
I feel it shatter yet again
It's Not....
The Same
doesn't matter how you sugar coat it
It's Not...
The Pain
I don't have any tears this time
It's Not...
For Me
to try and understand
It's Not You
It's Not Me
It's Over
Just Over...

Touch Me©

I often compare the intimate act of loving someone to art. The expression of loving is as unique as a painting, sculpture or piece of music. When it's good, it's so very good, and when it's bad....But even that critique is based on the opinion and life experience of the individual. In this piece, you'll see that thought process played out. Enjoy....

Skin so soft
Lips so devine
body, ummmm
there are no words to describe
Touch me
Caress me softly
speak to my spirit
press your heart to mine
Baby, touch me
My desire for you is increasing
let me wrap my long legs around you
drink all of me that you desire
my cup runneth over
Touch me
I am your masterpiece
use your artistic talent
write of me
sing of me
paint all over me
Baby, touch me
Gaze upon me
engulf me with your love flames
consume all of me
taste all of me
Touch me
Use me
take all of me
empty me
have your way with me
Baby, touch me
tease me
please me
Baby
love me.....

Bitter Pill©

I started writing in order to cleanse myself of the emotional feelings I was having about relationships. I felt - and still feel, that doing this keeps me grounded in some way. I so believe in the "happily ever after" of love. I cling to that thought on a daily basis. I know - love is often ugly. But part of me feels so deeply that we have to keep our arms and hearts open to truly receive love. And personally, I would rather be dreaming positively about love, than swallowing the bitter pill of love lost and won and lost yet again. I figure, you're expending energy whether choosing bitterness or optimism, and I choose the later thank you very much. Love and loving gives us such craziness when we're in a relationship no doubt. But what else is there? Hey, I would rather be on the crazy hampster wheel and loving and fighting for love, so I'm just going to keep hope alive as I live and breathe!

I wrote "Bitter" as a continuing tribute to my purging process. A personal pledge to cleanse all that is bad so that I can remain open to all that is good. Let me say one final thing to you - I understand that loving and losing hurts. And it hurts so very deeply. I understand that. But I want you to focus on the bigger picture - and that is that there is power even in your pain. My pain. Because once you have healed, you are come out on the other side so much better. Here is a place for you to cry, embrace and purge yourself of that pain and longing and whatever else you have going on inside right now. I'm just capturing the words to help you through the process. But don't think I am so caught up in my ever after, that I don't undertand. My hope when you're done with this poem, is that you too, are cleansed....

Wash the pain away
cleanse me of all my pain and anger
leave me with - hope
clarity
joy
Don't allow me to wallow in this space
I acknowledge that I am hurt
I acknowledge that I am still in love
I acknowledge that I have been rocked
my core
aches
Don't allow me to wallow in this space
I write to soothe
heal
purge
the tiny fissures of my heart
I write to soothe
Don't allow me to wallow in this space
They say time heals all wounds
but time
speeds slowly
and my wounds
hurt daily
Don't allow me to wallow in this space
I want to
love again
believe that it is real
I want to
win at love - please
Don't allow me to wallow in this space
So I write to soothe
heal
purge
and most important
to avoid the bitter pill
that comes from dwelling in the dark space
I refuse
To allow me to wallow in this space......

Water©

I wrote "Water" after enjoying a long bubble bath one day. Love when there's a connection feels so fluid. I always say that love should feel effortless. I am not so caught up in dreams not to know that love is also hard work. I do understand that it's not always easy. There are two people, with a multitude of emotions so it can't always be easy. But at it's core, it feels easy; simple. As you read this, think about what love feels like to you....

My love flows like water
cleansing me
enveloping me safely in a cocoon
of comfort
of trust
I run my hands through it
feel the silkiness of it
I splash it across my face
and let it flow across my body
tiny drops like tears cling here and there
it flows
down my shoulders
longing to be kissed
down my breasts
which behind them beats my loving heart
down my legs
which stores a loving treasure
I close my eyes to feel it washing me
over and over
It feels so smooth and warm
My love flows like water
warm and inviting
that's when our love feels good
icy and cold
that's when I feel fear and uncertainty
My love flows like water
I thirst for it
like I thirst for more of you
My love flows like water
drench me
pour yourself upon me
like pure rain
shower me all over
with tender kisses
My love flows like water
I feel it's ebb and flow
I feel loved
I am loved
I love you

The Nice Guy©

This poem really needs no introduction. The words speak volumes on their own. I love the message of it. Don't let the title fool you - this is a valid message whether you are a man or woman.....



It's always wonderful in the beginning
that initial attraction
that spark
your heart tingles with anticipation
weren't you just praying about this?
talking to your girl about someone like this?
The One, The Nice Guy

You exchange information
you wait all day for that first call
you share heartfelt stories
reveal all the things you've longed to say
you tip all your cards
show him your love wish list
The One, The Nice Guy

He says all the right things
says he's the one for you
let's you know he'll dedicate his love to you
you start to blossom in his love
your skin starts to glow in his love
you talk about him with your friends
The One, The Nice Guy

The months start to fly by
there are endless phone calls, texts
you blush when you talk about him
there are romantic dinners
you believe in his love
yes you've made love
The One, The Nice Guy

One day, out of the blue
it all starts to unravel
you cry out to him, beg him
try to make sense of it all
but he's a different man
not the one you love
The One, The Nice Guy

The One, The Nice Guy
was it all a lie, or a bad dream?
or did you simply miss the signs?
we turn a blind eye to all the unpretty
or show our cards too soon
we give away the roadmap to our hearts
but ~ if you had simply waited
The One, The Nice Guy

If he's real, if he's the one for you
the love will be so simple
you won't have to try
so do yourself a favor
be true to who you are FIRST
be clear about who you are first
So that the one, the nice guy

When he appears
you are ready
take the time now to get ready!
Love you
decide if you would even date you
stop pointing the finger
and take a long, hard look in your mirror
So that the one, the nice guy

You are ready for him!
Be the one your desire FIRST
And let God do the rest.....

I Rise©

There's something so magical, so empowering about coming out of the depths of dispair. While you are suffering, the pain is so tremendous, that you feel as if there will never be any daylight. And then one day, you are okay. It may be because a new guy has smiled at you, or you finally went out on a great date. Sometimes it's just the subtle feeling of knowing - knowing that you've moved on. And in that moment, whatever the reason, things look better - you feel better - food tastes better. It may not be where you are right now, but just know that it will get better. And you too shall rise....



I Rise
From the depths of my dispair
I open my windows wide
to receive the warm sunshine
my laughter floats on the air
like a gentle breeze
I Rise
From the ashes of discontent
there are no more dark clouds
no more self drama
I've shed my last tears
I am washed; Made whole and complete
I Rise
A black queen
strong and determined
regal, beautiful
I embrace all of who I am
rejoice in my splendor and glory
I Rise
This is a brand new day
there's always a beautiful rainbow
after a storm
and now that my storm has passed
I can see my glorious rainbow
And I Rise
Happy, healthy and strong
And I Rise
Joyful, ready for the world
And I Rise
A complete woman
Ready for a complete man
I Rise
I Rise
I Rise