Bitter Pill©

I started writing in order to cleanse myself of the emotional feelings I was having about relationships. I felt - and still feel, that doing this keeps me grounded in some way. I so believe in the "happily ever after" of love. I cling to that thought on a daily basis. I know - love is often ugly. But part of me feels so deeply that we have to keep our arms and hearts open to truly receive love. And personally, I would rather be dreaming positively about love, than swallowing the bitter pill of love lost and won and lost yet again. I figure, you're expending energy whether choosing bitterness or optimism, and I choose the later thank you very much. Love and loving gives us such craziness when we're in a relationship no doubt. But what else is there? Hey, I would rather be on the crazy hampster wheel and loving and fighting for love, so I'm just going to keep hope alive as I live and breathe!

I wrote "Bitter" as a continuing tribute to my purging process. A personal pledge to cleanse all that is bad so that I can remain open to all that is good. Let me say one final thing to you - I understand that loving and losing hurts. And it hurts so very deeply. I understand that. But I want you to focus on the bigger picture - and that is that there is power even in your pain. My pain. Because once you have healed, you are come out on the other side so much better. Here is a place for you to cry, embrace and purge yourself of that pain and longing and whatever else you have going on inside right now. I'm just capturing the words to help you through the process. But don't think I am so caught up in my ever after, that I don't undertand. My hope when you're done with this poem, is that you too, are cleansed....

Wash the pain away
cleanse me of all my pain and anger
leave me with - hope
clarity
joy
Don't allow me to wallow in this space
I acknowledge that I am hurt
I acknowledge that I am still in love
I acknowledge that I have been rocked
my core
aches
Don't allow me to wallow in this space
I write to soothe
heal
purge
the tiny fissures of my heart
I write to soothe
Don't allow me to wallow in this space
They say time heals all wounds
but time
speeds slowly
and my wounds
hurt daily
Don't allow me to wallow in this space
I want to
love again
believe that it is real
I want to
win at love - please
Don't allow me to wallow in this space
So I write to soothe
heal
purge
and most important
to avoid the bitter pill
that comes from dwelling in the dark space
I refuse
To allow me to wallow in this space......