Perfectly ©

Part of love is loving yourself. How will you ever love someone else if you cannot love who you are? I've said here recently that for a large portion of my life I wanted to be something else. One of my greatest breakthroughs came when I released that.  But I have to affirm myself each and every day in order not to revert back to that way of thinking.
Everywhere I look, there's an image that is in stark contrast to who I am. If you look at these images long enough, you will surely feel less than. However, if you instead choose to look around you at the women you work or shop with, and with whom you have friendships with; If you are honest about what you see, you will understand that these images are not the truth for the vast majority of women. Or you! Are some of us overweight and unhealthy? Yes. But my full hips and the cellulite that is on my thighs does not condemn me to live a life that is less fulfilling. I am meant to be happy no matter.
I think that is why so many women embrace Michelle Obama. It's not just that she is black. It's that we finally see a woman who looks more like who we are. And by we, I mean all women, not just women of color.
It's time to find something - just one thing that you love about you physically, and embrace and affirm it fully.  Start small. Dr. Martin Luther King said take the first step - you don't have to see the whole staircase. Take the first step toward you. Love yourself. For you were made perfectly....

I appreciate my body
despite all the things that appear wrong
For they are only wrong to me
Because, honestly
God made me perfectly
I'm not the images that I see on TV
I'm not displayed on or in magazines
My hips are full
My breasts are small
But, God made me perfectly
I am overweight by society's standards
I'm certainly not tall at all
But God, I have to thank you
Right here and now
For heavenly Father, you made me, perfectly
There are people without limbs
There are people without sound or sight
How humble I am to know
So many things could be wrong
But God, you made me perfectly
I've had my eyes cast downward
I've focused on an earthly prize
I must look up
Feel richly blessed by God
Each and everyday
God, you did it, you made me perfectly
I may never win a beauty contest
I am certainly not a perfect ten
But I have a wonderful circle of friends
I have a man who is crazy about me and loves me as is
And best of all, I have God's love
And to him, I am made ~ Perfectly....

I Want More ©

The word satisfied has been resonating with me since I opened my eyes this morning. As I've journeyed this past year, one of the things I had to do was finally come to grips with who and what I am right now. Not what I was in the past, or what I will go on to become, but who I am in this very moment. I noted one morning that I could shower, dress, apply make up and fix my hair, but I wasn't really LOOKING at myself. Do you truly look at yourself in the mirror? No, take a good, long, stark look at who you are. I started doing that, and in doing so, I had to come to grips with who I am. The imperfect Valerie that was staring back at me. Was she happy or sad? What did she like? I didn't really know those answers, so I had to get in touch with her all over again. And truly, I had to get real and like - then love - who was looking back at me.
This is a continuing process that I still have to follow through with every single day. But what I love is that each day that God blesses me on this earth is a day that I get to affirm and love me. And I'm loving me some me right now.... and in that self love I am open to love. My love expands because of the love I have for me.

That's what this affirmation means for me.....


I know from the power of God's word
and the beliefs I affirm everyday
that I am more
and because I am more
I Want More
I promise to only try
~on new shoes or clothes
~my dream car for a test drive
~to do my best everyday
And that no longer will I try
~to love a man
~to be perfect
~to be less than
I Want More
Mary J. Blige says "Take me as I am"
and that is where I am right now
There are no additives or fillers
There are no false pretenses
There are imperfections
There is cellulite
There are crinkles at the corners of my eyes
There are full hips, lips and thighs
There are silver strands
But
It's all me ~ and I'm loving me
I Want More
There's more to my life's story
More love for me to have
More love for me to give
The best is just around the corner
But I'm living well just as is ~ right now
My power is here with me
My circle of love is amazing
I appreciate things as they are
I am who I am
~in spite of
~rather than
~and because of
I am AWESOME ~ thank God!
I am who I am
I love me
and because of this knowledge
I Want More....

New Year - New You?

Happy New Year everyone! I wish an abundance of joy and love for each of us. Here were my thoughts as I quietly rang the New Year in...

When you do the work of
going through the grief
exploring your past
accepting that you - and others, are not perfect
when you have accepted that you have made mistakes, and will make many more
when you can forgive - forgive - forgive ~ yourself and others
when you have finally faced your fears and insecurities
or at least acknowledge them
when have allowed yourself to let go of your ego
And when you can once and for all, love yourself as is
Then, then you are ready for love again
I am ready

2009 was about learning for me. I had to go through it, to get to it. What is it? Me, myself and I. I was living a life where I wanted to be anyone else but me - taller, shorter, thinner, heavier, lighter, richer, darker - and always with bigger breasts! But each time I looked in the mirror, the same Valerie was starring back. Yes, the hips expanded after babies and age, but I was always the same person. I wanted to be perfect. The perfect daughter, sister, cousin, aunt, student, employee, wife and mother.

But I discovered one day that I wasn't perfect. All I had was me, as is. With a warranty only guaranteed by God. And if God made me, surely I must be okay. With that realization came change. And with change came turmoil. Surely if I have this kind of clarity the devil had to step in and cause some mess. And that he did. But in the midst of all this, I found salvation in writing. And I did quite a bit. These postings are just a snapshot of what I've written.

Through it all, I learned to love and trust me. I am a better woman today, and it's all because I spent some time with me. When is the last time you've taken that time? I needed to be what I desired. And I needed to create what I wanted clearly in my mind. All that came from writing.

It's a New Year. It's time to create a New You to go along with it. Take the time. It's so worth it. I promise you. I dare you!

PoeticV

We Dance Slowly ©

I think slow dancing with someone is one of the most sensual and intimate things you can do. There you are, in sync with the music, touching, bodies locked in an embrace. Wow. And I always imagine dancing at an unexpected time, like while washing the dishes, or just sitting around the house. I know. That's the romantic in me. Can you tell I've spent endless time reading and watching romantic books and movies? Well a girl can dream right? Soooo, who comes to your mind as you read this?

When I'm in your arms
I feel so safe and secure
I feel your heartbeat when you hold me like this
in near perfect sync with mine
I feel the warmth of your skin - your breath
We Dance Slowly
Swept away by the sultry sounds
the world is far away
~there's just you and I
There are no troubles when I'm safely tucked in your arms
I don't want this time to end
We Dance Slowly
Time and space don't matter at this moment
the day's events are washed away
I rub your shoulders to ease your troubles
you smile at me and plant a delicate kiss
We embrace closer still
the promise of more fills the room
We Dance Slowly
You dip me and nuzzle my neck
I giggle and let out a content sigh
This ~ feels so good, so right
We take a spin around the furniture
glide past the dining room
down the hallway
We Dance Slowly
Hearts racing
We hold each other for a moment
you gather my face and gently kiss me
we are now caught up in a love dance
You carry me to our room
We Dance Slowly
On into the night we flow
we dance as familiar lovers do
When I'm in your arms
I feel so safe and secure
I love you
And home is what I feel whenever I dance with you...

My Life Before My Life © by VLR

It's been awhile. I've been focusing on completing my book, but my thoughts have never strayed to far from here. From you. The holidays are upon us and it's such a bittersweet time. I miss many things, but instead of thinking about lack, I take a moment each day to focus on the abundance of things I do have....
Love steps to us in many ways. Sometimes, it's so unexpected that it catches you off guard. In truth though, the package that it comes in - or that it comes at all - may be unexpected, but if you are truly preparing yourself for love, it's always right on time and expected. And when it's good love, true love built especially for you, it's as if everything you've experienced prior has no meaning. Only the here and now matter.....

What of my life before you?
It's as if there was nothing prior
Because all I feel is you and these moments we share
All I feel is you
My life feels complete somehow now
Perhaps everything before now
Was for now
That I was being readied for just this time
When I would meet you
Unexpectedly
You feel - familiar, safe and good for me
You feel like you belong
~In my life
~In my heart
And yet, I don't really know you
But it feels like I do
It's as if our souls know one another
And now our flesh is set to confirm what has already been confirmed in another realm
The spiritual realm
Strange
How I miss your physical presence
And I haven't experienced your physical presence
I miss you from the moment we hang up, until the time we connect yet again
My body yearns for you
I want to practice making babies with you
I want to grow old and live out my future with you!
How is it I miss someone I don't fully know?
Yet somehow, I know you
My spirit knows your spirit
What of my life before you?
There wasn't anything prior
Not like the love I have for you at this moment in time
I suppose that question really doesn't matter
Because for once, I'm going to get outside my head and allow my heart center stage
I'm not going to think this too far through
But trust my instincts and allow myself to take this walk with you
I'm going to follow what my spirit is affirming for me
I'm going to let go and drop off into the abyss of love
And allow myself to fall completely in love with you
My life before you was just a dress rehearsal
The real thing has stepped in unexpectedly
Yet my spirit expected it
I am ready
Ready for your love
For you are the life I freely choose to live now
And nothing else matters but you....

Raindrops© by VLR

It's raining here in Southern California. I absolutely love the rain. It stirs up the romantic side of me always. I love to lie in the bed and watch the rain as it falls. Sometimes I'll ignore my umbrella and allow the rain to fall against my skin and face. Rain is cleansing. As I watched it pour down today, this piece manifested. If it's not raining where you are as you read this, imagine that it is and enjoy....

We share a candlelight dinner
Just the two of us
Soft music ~ jazz, fills the room
Rain falls softly against the window
Roses of every hue surround us
We sit staring at each other across the table
The flicker of the light dances in your eyes
I blush and drop my head briefly
A curl brushes across my forehead and you reach and push it back
Your touch - so gentle, sends a chill up my spine
I flash my mega-watt smile and touch your arm
We touch finger tips and hold hands
The music changes and we get up to slow dance
You encircle me and I melt into your body
You brush my brown locks aside and kiss my neck softly
Your touch to me is electrifying ~ you set off all my senses
I close my eyes to take it all in
Is that the rain or my heartbeat? I can't tell
What you do to me, you'll never really know
I feel lost in you
Now our lips meet
Are we dancing to music or rain or my heartbeat?
You pause only to look at me, express words of love to me
Hearts racing, we pause to look out at the rain
It is pouring outside, as our love and desire pour inside
Your hands reach for me again, exploring every part of me
Pressed against the window, I receive the coolness of the weather
along with the warmth of your body and kisses
I can feel your desire pressing against me
Your fingers dip to taste of my flowing desire
A wicked smile crosses your face
Lightening fills the sky, but all I can feel is what you are doing to me
We pour out our passion right there against the window
The rain now beats intensely against the window, as we ride our wave of love
And as the rain settles, you hold me close
Kissing me, loving me ~ having made love to me
Your confessions of love fall like sparkling raindrops so fresh and new
My love for you rises like a rainbow
Bright
Rare
Only for you
My love for you is endless....

My Choices ©

This is one of those times when I feel like I've written something that needs no introduction. I just want you to absorb it and let me know what you think instead....

Sitting here
thinking back over my life
knowing only where I've been
and the good and bad of my choices
My Choices
Man, if only I could take some of them back
~or somehow press rewind
If only I took a different path so that I could still be in some spaces
~with him
The simple impact of everyday decisions
like, the blue dress or slacks
kiss him or not
say yes or no
All seem so harmless at the time
but those moments
like my memories
~still linger
And the impact of my choices
~still linger
echo
in the far reaches of my mind
The video of my past
flows
Each flash I see is
bittersweet
hurtful
good
I press my eyes shut
in hopes of stopping the replay
But the video continues
Is this what the end of life looks like?
Are you given a chair, and a large screen to watch your life?
I feel the magnitude of my choices
feel everything and every decision
I feel
when I've hurt someone
the countless guys that I've smiled at and given my number
and then ignored, was rude to, or gave a wrong number
or the ones that I ignored when I walked by
when just a simple hello was all that they needed
the ones I broke up with or refused to talk to or go out with
the ones I judged - incorrectly as not being worthy of my time
I feel their pain, the hurt I caused
The good and bad of my choices
My choices
The video continues
my life continues to flash
I feel my own personal pain
the pain of secrets I held inside from my youth
my innocence taken by a trusted adult
the shame of that moment forever seared in my memory
I feel the rejection of past loves
of being ignored, left behind for something or someone else
All of this speeds by me
flashes of pain and joy
All my life lessons
My Choices
All this roars past me across the screen
the end finally, comes... quietly
I sit and stare at the screen
and now tears of relief begin to flow
Because I realize this is not the end
I still have pages to fill and more characters to meet
I still have room to grow
But now, having seen this video comes a vibrant realization
my eyes have been opened
I still have choices!
I know I have to do better ~ be better
watch my choices
because it's not just about me
I may be the main character here, but I'm not alone
I recognize the impact of my daily decisions
I'll be kinder
More honest
thoughtful
~to myself, and others
I'll enjoy the moments and people given me ~ good and bad
I've been given a fresh start
~a clean slate
And it's up to me
to be whole, complete
It's up to me
to forgive myself and the past
It's up to me
to be first what I seek in others with me
I must demand better of myself and others
because I am worthy
I am worthy
My life begins and ends with me
I'm grateful for this self reflection
I know where I've been
but I also know I have a choice in where I'm going
I am thankful for having my eyes opened
My vision has been restored
I am restored in me
I am restored in love
I see.....