My Dream©

Next to reading, one of my favorite things to do is dream. I love both, because they expand my possibilities. Many great ideas have sprung forth from my dreams. There are many nights that I am sleeping, and a string of thoughts or an entire poem have come from my dreams. I find myself writing many of the things I dream about, because they are things that I want to attract to my life. A friend of mine asked me to write a deserve list. It's been very difficult for me to attain - or in some cases keep - certain successes in my life because I haven't always felt that I deserved it. By doing this list, it helps me to affirm the things that I want in my life - and most importantly, that I deserve to have in my life. I wrote "My Dream" long before I did a list, but it too defines the kind of man that I want in my life - again, that I deserve to have in my life.
What are you longing for in your life? Do you dream about anything? What are you doing to affirm what you want in your life? Do you feel you deserve it? You do deserve it. That is the thing you must know - you deserve it. And you deserve to have the love you want as well. It's not for just your friend or your brother, or your gorgeous co-worker who seems to always have a new man. You deserve it as well. Think about this as you read this poem, and then get out a sheet of paper and write your deserve list. Be bold about it, because guess what? You deserve it!


Closing my eyes
I dream about my prince charming
I dream of
strong arms to hold me tight
and shield me from the pain in this world
wonderful lips to kiss me passionately
and whisper endless love and life plans
a chest to lie on and ease my pain
shoulders to lift my spirits
skin like chocolate or caramel
a voice silky and confident
I'm dreaming of a man
a man's man
not a male
A man that I can dream with
cry and laugh with
a man I can love and trust
a man who gets me for who I am now, and who I will become
a man who can see past the worst of me, down to my spirit
a man who will stand his ground and cherish me
I'm dreaming of a man
I'm dreaming of you
of you
of you
I'm dreaming of you

Irresistible©

I love the Lakers, and I usually watch the pre-game show. Not for statistical information, or who will play tonight. Nope, I watch because Rick Fox was added to the show this season. I've had a crush on that man since his days at North Carolina. When he's on the screen I just sit grinning from ear to ear. He is what I call an irresistible man. I do the same thing with Brad Pitt and Denzel Washington. This list can go on and on, but you get the idea. He doesn't have to be a mega star though. I've found men in my everyday life who make me feel the same way. You know, they flash that super sexy smile of theirs, and you just go all gooey inside. Or they open their mouths and you have no idea what they said, you're too caught up in looking at them. Yep, irresistible...



He is...simply irresistible
A voice deep as the ocean
Skin rich as chocolate
Arms so strong and reassuring
And lips
so, so luscious
His kisses leave me breathless
Panting with desire
I try to resist - my mind says no
But my heart says yes
~yes to his invitation to love him
~yes to his desires to have me in his life
~yes to his protection from all the troubles of this world
~yes to his loving me forever
He is...simply irresistible
Sleepy, sultry eyes
that dance with a wicked twinkle
Hands that are soft to the touch
yet strong and expressive
His killer smile
always leaves me breathless
I try to resist - my mind says no
But my heart will always say yes
~yes I accept his invitation to love
~yes I desire him just as much
~yes I will allow him to be my protector
~yes I will love him forever
He is...simply irresistible
I am
haunted by him
I am
addicted to him
I
Love him.....

Pain©

I wrote "Pain" during a very difficult time in my life. It was a time when I was actually experiencing a very bad break up. I truly felt at that time that my heart had been broken in a million pieces, and I didn't think I would ever recover. It's still something I am healing from. It was actually this situation that sparked my writing in the first place. I had been crying and hurting for days. I would sit and stare out my window, or blankly watch television. Nothing seemed to help, until I decided to simply embrace what I was feeling, and put it into words. The words were what I was feeling. I did not sit and think about what I was going to say that day. I just let it pour from my heart. It truly felt like my heart was bleeding as I typed each line of the poem. So what you will read here is raw, but real.

A letter falls softly to the floor
It tells of a lover gone away
I watch the light flicker
And dance across my room
As I sit embraced by silence
This is my pain
I sit amongst the aftermath of another love war
A battle that I have lost
I am deeply wounded with cuts
Cuts that run so deep
Wounded by my lost love
This is my pain
The bleeding I can't control
The wounds are far too many
wounds from
anger and hurt
frustration and disappointments
This is my pain
With age comes wisdom
But with pain comes
~ pain
The blood flows from my heart
spills onto my skin
This is my pain
I left myself exposed to you
Exposed to the love I felt for you
I let down my guard for you
But love and loving was not enough
And now comes the pain
This is my pain
I wrap myself in it
Nest in a cocoon of it
Drink to feel the taste of it
Embrace it like a long lost friend
My blood now flows onto the floor
This is my pain
And now my tears began to fall
Washing over the whole of me
Washing the pain and blood from me
Working to renew and restore me
I feel revived
This
was
my
pain

Crush©

"Crush" is a piece I wrote early on in my writing experience. I didn't actually have a crush at the time. I had so many feelings running through me that day - fear that I would be alone all my life, frustration over another failed relationship, anger because I was hurting so much, longing and ache because I still loved him. It was so overwhelming. Have you ever been so overwhelmed by the emotions of a situation that you feel like they are going to consume you forever? If you're in a happy moment in your life, this will read as dramatic, but if you're going through it, this resonates does it not? Exactly. So I decided to allow myself to try and find words to capture what I was feeling - no matter how crazy it was. And on this day, I was sitting thinking about liking someone, but they don't know. And how it feels to long for that person, and you are invisible. They don't even know you - never glance your way. Oh I've had this experience. I was in the 7th grade; super skinny, glasses, acne. He was a confident, gorgeous 9th grader. He had an afro that never had a hair out of place, and great white teeth (I still love that in a man - the teeth, not the afro!) Everyone loved him. And so did I. I sat behind him in a music class, and would watch, mesmorized as he stepped into the class to take his seat. He only looked at me once, near the end of the semester. Just turned and smiled for a split second. I melted. That's what I was thinking about, when I wrote "Crush". Who was your secret crush?

I have a secret crush
he walks by me everyday
I
Smell the scent of him
it lingers long after he's gone
He
Does not know how
I watch his expressive hands
I
Long to feel his touch
wrap myself in his arns
He
Doesn't even see me
as I watch him everyday
I
Fail to say a single word
to reach out to him
He
Doesn't know
Doesn't know
I
Have a secret crush

Sensual Feelings©

I love the warm and fuzzy feelings that come from good love - and loving. How many times have you been so satisfied by love...you take a hot bath, rub yourself down in some essential oils, lay down on your bed, and let out a sigh as you think of him - or her. Your body still tingles after the wonderful connection shared between you and your lover. You almost want to purr....think of that sultry moment as you read this...

I am lost in my sensual feelings of you
as I lie on my bed naked, still damp from the sweat of you
I allow my thoughts to drift
the memory is as fresh as the scent of you that lingers on my skin
I trace my fingers across my body
across my full brown thighs, luscious belly, warm breasts, smooth shoulders
tracing the places your tongue explored
I am lost in my sensual feelings for you
I touch the lips you kissed, feel your warm breath on my neck
still warm from the kisses you left behind
I touch the space you just left
it is still warm from your body
I am lost in my sensual feelings for you
I am lost in you
mesmorized by your touch, your tongue, your love
I am found in you
hypnotized by your love
your sweetness
your manliness
you
I am lost in my sensual feelings for you...

Letting Go©

Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I realize that love does not always feel good. Sometimes, we have to deal with a little bit of pain. Okay, a lot of pain. But I embrace the dark days just as much as the lighter days, because as I've said before, there is a lesson in everything. When I was writing "Letting Go", I was listening to a girlfriend who was talking about the torture of getting a lost love out of her system. I thought about the many things I've done to purge myself of a lost love, and I realized that it's not an easy task. We resort to many things - getting back out there and dating right away, trying to reconcile with the person, drinking, crying, talking to friends. Some remedies are healthier than others. Crying to a friend is a bit better than eating a pint of ice cream. But sometimes, a pint of whatever just feels pretty darn good! That, or a plate of french fries. lol
The power in "Letting Go" is not in what you're doing, but in the end, feeling so empowered that you have let go. That you have mourned the loss and are now willing to move forward. Healing for each of us happens in it's own time and way. But just know that just as you feel bad, and it hurts, it will one day feel better....

One day it won't matter
the letters, pictures
saved messages
the memories
you won't want to pick up the phone and call him
or hold the phone close, waiting/hoping he'll call
all the hoping will be gone
this is the process of
Letting Go
One day, you'll stop the self pity
questioning the why, how and what
why did he leave
how could he leave
what could you have done differently?
one day you'll be able to look forward
you won't even check your rearview mirror
this is the process of
Letting Go
How do you turn that corner
and erase all the pain
the pain is the hardest thing
it lingers day and night
no amount of tears, or sleep or talking seems to help
but time, somehow diminishes it
and listening to your heart helps
this is the process of
Letting Go
And then one day, something happens
and he becomes a distant memory
a memory that doesn't hold feeling
and you smile again
and hope again
and quite possibly
love again
this is the process of
Letting Go
Go through the process of letting go
embrace it
be willing to learn the lesson
because it's in the learning
you will find your strength

Let go!
and know that you are strong
Let go!
Because there's nothing to be gained
by holding on
Let go!
Because there is better
you are better
this is the process of
Letting Go......

I Am©

My thinking as I wrote "I Am", was the complete submission to the man that I desire - no holds barred, stripped down, this is all me - love of another person. As I refine who I am, and who I desire in my life, I find that I am more about being completely honest with myself, and whoever I find myself involved with. I spent so much time in my life, trying to be perfect. But in one bright light bulb moment, exhausted from the weight and stress of it all, I realized that I'm not. I am who I am - mistakes and imperfections. In taking down that shield, I felt such a rush of relief. The fear had always been, if I showed someone who I really was, would they like me, or want to work with me, or even love me. I never considered the opposite thought - what if I showed who I am, and they did? Or better yet, why should it matter? If I am not liked or loved, it may be less to do with me, and more to do with that person.

Now that I look to live authentically, I hope that I will attract that as well. I am now free to be simply - me! "I Am" can almost be considered a pledge. As you read it, I want you to think about what you would be willing to pledge to your love....



I Am
all yours
I give of myself freely
unlock all my hidden desires
I willingly submit to your heart's fire

I Am
all yours
I've broken down the walls
that divide my love
Conquered all the demons that lurked inside
released all my treasures

I Am
all yours
Allow me to love you
see every part of you
let us hide nothing from one another
see me as I am

I Am
all yours
Let's share our love and loving
melt our hearts together
take my hands
choose to love me

I Am
all yours
Let us always affirm one another
confirm one another
be at peace with one another
let patience and wisdom be our guide

I Am
all yours
I'll take my time loving you
like a loving artist
I'm willing to grow and evolve
always open my heart and mind in order to live our love's story

I Am
all yours
And as father times passes
and our courtship is more defined
as our love begins to ripen
I pray
That one day
You are
All Mine

Here We Are©

The back and forth of love. Sometimes, in trying to resolve your feelings for a lost love, you end up going backwards a bit, in order to try and recapture what once was. You hope that somehow, in allowing an ex back into your life, the relationship will rekindle, and get back on track. But that is your thought. She's thinking, you guys are just friends, while you want more - what it was. So you chat on the phone, maybe hang out, all in an attempt to work things out. Well, sometimes it works, but sometimes, you look up and here you are.....

Here We Are
Suspended in time
I want what we had
the love, the loving
You
you want something less
Friends
Here We Are

How can we go backwards
when we've been so far forward
when we've been so much more
Lovers
I want so much more
Time
Here We Are

I miss the you and I
I miss the we
the us
the passion of what we had
how can we go back to
less?
Here We Are

So we do this dance
I cling to meaningless conversations
that lead to nothing
but more longing
each time, I promise myself
no more
Yet, Here We Are

But one day
I'll get a call and it won't matter
because somehow, someday
the memory of us
will have faded away
in the meantime
Here We Are.....

Wow©

Sometimes, when love is so very good, we use simple phrases to describe just how good it is. This time, I'm going to let the work speak for itself...it's summed up in just one word..."Wow"

I am entralled by you
you ignite my erotic senses
I am captivated by your love
imprisoned by your passions
Wow

I can't seem to shake the thought of you
I think about you all the time
your touch is imprinted on my body
my desires rise at the very mention of your name
Wow

I want to be with you always
feel you always
I miss you when you are gone
want more of you when you are near
Wow

Is what spills from my lips
as we converge in a lover's high
it is also what spills from my lips softly
as I drift off to slumber and release a sigh
Wow

I am addicted to your very essence
your dna has merged with mine
a lover's spell has been cast upon me
I have placed my heart in thine

Simple Love©

I love spending time in reflection, because this is the time I can use to refine things about my life, and the way I love and want to be loved. I believe that the more you know and understand about yourself - embracing who you are first as a person, and loving yourself - the more you have to share with a lover. Since I am a firm beleiver in like attracting like, it's imperative to me to get myself right, so that I attract exactly what I want. In this vein, I was sitting one day, thinking about love, and the word simple came to mind. And once I coupled the words simple and love together on a piece of paper, "Simple Love" sprang to life. What kind of love do you dream of?



A simple love
That's what I long for
a pure love
uncomplicated
based on patience and trust
a love that is so familiar
A Simple Love

I want you
want to be around you
press my breasts to your back each night
watch a good movie
or share a late breakfast
A Simple Love

That's what I dream about
a love that sees me with no make-up ~ love
shares the Sunday newspaper ~ love
feeds me chicken soup when I'm sick ~ love
argues, says I'm sorry and we make up ~ love
A Simple Love

Are you a simple guy?
are you willing to let me see you cry?
I need you to strip down
show your naked emotional insides
show me who you really are
A Simple Love

Because a simple love
can only be
when our egos are stripped bare
and we're both willing to see
all the good, bad and ugly
and all that's in-between
and all that's left
is not
you
or me
But we....
I want to love you
Pure and Simple

Cast My Troubles Away©

Sometimes when we are mourning the loss of love, the burden of the pain seems so enormous. You've tried crying, writing, sleeping, talking...nothing seems to help. Sometimes you require a higher power to ease your burdens. That is what I was thinking, as I wrote this piece....And I thought it would be a perfect piece to introduce on a Sunday afternoon.

My life is like a ship
rolling across the ocean
feeling the ups and downs
sailing across troubled waters
Lord, Cast My Troubles Away

Feeling the burden of my heavy heart
tears flowing like rain
waters rise
a storm is brewing
Lord, Cast My Troubles Away

My spirit is deeply wounded
I toss out my net
trying to catch my happiness
but the net overflows with other things
Lord, Cast My Troubles Away

The waters rise higher and higher
wash across my ship of life
I cling to what I can
try to hold on and ignore the strife
Lord, Cast My Troubles Away

Cast my troubles
Lord cast them all away
I can only cling to your promises
And hope for another day

I need a day of sunshine
Long to feel warmth on my face
Lord I'll wait for your direction
Wait for your peace and grace

Restless©

Ahh, the dating game. It's certainly an interesting experience. There are good dates, horrible ones and really, really great ones. But what happens when you vibe with someone really well and start to hang out and really get to know one another. It's that initial, what's going to happen next feeling that drives me crazy. I have gotten so used to my DVR at home, that I sometimes wish I could just fast forward through everything and get to the really good parts, like are we going to stay together? Who leaves whom? Am I relieved or does it hurt?? In other words, I'm restless....

I am scared of this moment
the in-between stage
after you've met
gone out on several dates
hung out just because
where do we go from here?
Restless
This is where I wish
I could hit the fast forward button
or look at the last page in the book
or maybe just a peek inside his mind
just a small glimpse to know
does he really like me?
Restless
His kisses taste so sweet
I love the way our bodies align
love the way his hand fits in mine
it's too early to say I Love You
yet obvious I'm mad about you
I am truly perplexed on what to do!
Restless
So I have to continue on
enjoying the good times between you and I
but it may not be meant to be
hoping for the best
in this in-between stage
i'll just have to be patient and wait to see
Restless
I'll simply enjoy each moment
share laughs
tender kisses
and hope we'll keep moving forward
continuing in our growth together
i'll open my heart just a tiny bit more
and release
being
restless....

Addicted©

Sometimes, love can feel so crazy good. When love is good, you think about, talk about, dream about your lover. Your skin glows. This is the place that I love. It's like eating a great piece of chocoloate - you savor the taste, touch and flavor of it. And when it's gone, when you taken the last bite, it still lingers on your tongue. When love is good, it stays on your mind....


I am addicted to your love
feel conflicted by your love
feel oh so inspired by your love
Addicted
I’m in need of a fix of you
your loving sends me floating on a high
I can’t get enough of loving you
Addicted
I’m transformed when I’m near you
my body aches to be with you
your touch ignites my passion’s fire
Addicted
I sit transfixed, thinking, waiting
the very thought of you sends shivers
the scent of you lingers
Addicted
I could indulge in you morning, noon and night
the sound of your voice sends me over the edge
my desire for you has my heart open wide
Addicted
You are imprinted on my soul
I have an insatiable desire for you
only your love can satisfy me
Addicted
Please come and quench my thirst
Rain your love down on me
Let me drink all that I desire
Fill me
Complete me
Share yourself with me
You are my drug of choice

Eyes Wide Open©

I wrote this poem one after one of my many musings over love received and lost. Have you ever been caught off guard by love? When you meet, and fall in love with someone so unexpected – your great friend of many years, the cute clerk you say hi to everyday, or that scruffy girl or guy who has suddenly had a make-over. Unexpected love can feel a bit like stepping into the ring and being hit by the heavyweight champion! It can be dizzily delicious, intoxicating, and sultry. Oh, but sometimes the reality of it – whether it stays or goes, it truly opens your eyes…..

Love caught me off guard
hit me with a right hook that I never saw coming
I
Fell madly, deeply
crazy in love with you
I
Tried to gain my balance
but I was lost in a hazy pool of lust
I
Opened my eyes to focus
but it was too late
I
Was madly, deeply
crazy in love with you
I
Grabbed the ropes to gain my balance
reaching out to touch the very essence of you
I
Was hit with the power of your love
so crazy in love
And then
you
were
gone...
Eyes wide open,
you were gone...
I love you
I loved you
I love you

My Comfort©

Love feels so good. And when it feels right, it feels like our favorite go to dress or shirt. You know, like the killer black dress we wear when we need to make a statement, (To make an ex or current lover say "Wow" - usually an ex!) or the power suit you wear when you need to make a great impression. We seek comfort things when we need reassurance of something - it can be food, people, things. But when the loving of two people is good, it's like rolling all of your favorite things into one. Everything feels just so yummy. That's what was on my mind when I wrote "Comfort"...



He slides his hands around my waist
looks deep inside my soul
our lips touch
He is my Comfort

I wrap my arms around him
he slides his tongue down my neck
touches the places he knows I like best
He is my Comfort

My heart begins to race wildly
I arch my back
our breathing quickens
He is my Comfort

He whispers lovingly in my ear
whispers oh so softly
all the words I love to hear
He is my Comfort

We move swiftly to the bed
bodies in perfect sync
we do the dance that lovers do
He is my Comfort

Our kissing becomes more urgent
our hands lock
and I softly moan his name
He is my Comfort

We
Reach
Higher
And
Higher
And
Higher
Bodies locked in a sweaty trance
He is my Comfort

As we float gently back down to earth
he kisses me softly
and we lay quietly in our own sweet thoughts
He is my Comfort

He slides his hands around my waist
I nestle in his wonderful arms
listening to the beating of his heart
And I know
He is my Comfort

He is my love....

Broken Wings©

Love. When it's good, it awesome right? But when it's bad, when you are down in the valley crying, hurting, you feel broken. That's where I was actually when I began to write. I needed to purge from feeling this crazy, nonsense I was feeling. I truly felt like my wings had been broken, and I needed a way to express it so that I could shed it. I was done with crying about it and talking to my friends. And when I wrote that one line - my fingers did fly. And when I was done, this was the result.....

Tears stain my face
streaking the make-up I so carefully applied
I wish the day would somehow end
but it's only morning
I feel the burden of sadness
~I feel my broken wings
I'm tired
tired of the lies
tired of empty promises
tired of the tears
tired of my own sadness
~I feel my broken wings
Sitting here in my sanctuary, protected from all
the hurt
the pain
the disappointment
~I feel my broken wings
I'm tired
tired of talking about it to my friends
tired of thinking about it with myself
tired of the feeling
~I feel my broken wings
So I write about it
instead of crying about it
instead of talking about it
shouting to the darkness about it
~I feel my broken wings
Tears fall as my fingers fly
fly beyond the pain
fly beyond the frustration
they fly, they fly, fly
~Ifeel the weight of it all for just a moment
just a moment~
I feel the weight of grief
feel the weight of sorrow
feel the weight of hopelessness
I am empty
~I feel my broken wings
closing my eyes
I see the light
enveloping me
warming me
showing me
and finally
~I
See my wings
new
fresh
free
I press my fingers together for a moment
and I praise the heavens for this perfect vision
And
I
feel
free....

Lost©

Have you ever been at work, and you suddenly begin to think about him - or her? Your senses heighten, and you can almost feel and smell that person. Or you walk through a crowd, and a man is wearing the cologne your guy wears and it just takes you mentally right into his arms. Or you brush against your arm and you can feel her fingers on your skin. That's why I wrote Lost....



I can smell you deep in my pores

the scent of you

clean, like the ocean

I love the way it lingers on my skin

I love to inhale you as we embrace

~I am Lost in Thoughts of you

I feel the touch of you

your skin is so smooth and rich

like butter

I love the way your hand fits in mine

Love the way you kiss me

~I am Lost in Thoughts of you

I can hear your smooth voice

whispering dirty thoughts

as you take me to heights unseen

or lovingly teasing me

you make me laugh even on tough days

~I am Lost in Thoughs of You

You treat me like a rare jewell

polishing my body with sensuous fire

gazing upon my chocolate skin

brushing my lips oh so gently

I shake my head to try and focus

~I am Lost in Thoughts of You

A wicked smile emerges

as memories of you surface

I press my lips to try and suppress it

the phone rings to snap me back

and my thoughts of you fade



But I'll always have thoughts of you....

Stroking you with my Words©

I wrote Stroking after reading a poem a friend wrote. His title was different from mine, and my original writing used his title. But after reading it again, I felt stronger about the word Stroking. This was written during my longing stage. Those times late at night, when you look at the space across you in the bed and it's empty. Sometimes I run my hand across it, and imagine someone lying there, looking at me. Sometimes he is looking back, while other times he's sleeping peacefully. This is the time that these words spring forth.....

I love you
Love making love with you
Love the thought and passion of our love
Can you feel me, stroking you with my words?
Can you feel them my love
fingers softly touching your cheek
tracing the lines of your sensuous mouth
gliding smoothly down your neck
touching, pulling at the hairs of your chest
Can you feel me, stroking you with my words?
Now my fingers move quickly, quickly to unbutton your shirt
my legs begin to quiver
As I feel your fingers softly embracing the warmth of my breasts
each touch of you leaves fingerprints of fire
Baby can you feel me, stroking you with my words?
Can you feel my fingers as they stroke
and rake your head
do you feel the pleasure of hot lips
kissing you deeply
i open my legs wide to receive your tongue
Can you feel me, stroking you with my words?
Baby, can you smell the scent of my passion for you
feel the love that spills so freely from within me
drink of of my sweetness all that you like
i am completely engulfed by passion's flames
Can you feel me, stroking you with my words?
My hands reach for you, reach to feel the hardness of you
i sigh as i open arms and legs to receive all of you
can you feel my loves intense desire
as we quench our loves fire
Can you feel me, stroking you with my words?
And as our love wanes slowly
as we float softly back down to earth
I stroke you gently with loving words
You, stroke me with words of affirmation
You, stroke me with words of love
You, stroke me with words of truth
And I stroke you with my undying love....

Choices©

I wrote choices one night, while I was pondering my past decisions. It's much easier to look back in hindsight and reflect on decisions we've made in the past. I read a quote that said something like, all bad decisions were good when they were first made. And it's true when you think about it. That cute girl or guy that you hung out with and crushed on for a few months, and then later it turned ugly - it wasn't a bad choice at first. We don't consciously make bad decisions. They were cute when we first met them. It just didn't turn out well. It doesn't make it a bad decision unless there was physical or emotional harm. And even then, you didn't know that upfront. It was simply a decision that did not work. The key is to learn the lesson so that you can make a better choice in the future. It all comes down to choices.....

We walk a path alone
deciding whether to go right or left
the bible says the pathway is narrow
we are always defined by
CHOICES
Should I stay or go
say yes or no
should I choose to do right
is this way wrong?
CHOICES
We agonize over them
celebrate over them
cry over them
sometimes we just do - nothing
CHOICES
Is he the right one for me
did I make the right one
if I go this way, what will I see?
we worry about them all the time
CHOICES
At the very moment
when it's clear a decision has to be made
how do you decide?
what helps you take that next step?
CHOICES
Simply, follow your heart
know what's deep inside
stick to life's awesome path
and always know
CHOICES
That the choices you make today
whether they are right or wrong
there will always be more choices tomorrow
there will always be another one to be made
You chose
You have choosen
You have choice
CHOICES

I Am Healing©

While in the mourning process in dealing with a lost love, you often feel as if it's never going to get better; that you will never stop crying, thinking or talking about him or her. Some days, all you want to do is talk about what went wrong, and how bad you feel, and other days you are pretty sure your friends are tired of hearing the same things and the same story over and over. And just when you think you are not going to make it another minute without your love, things somehow get better. The pieces of your heart looked as if they would never go back together, yet somehow they do. Of course it takes time and things are different. You are changed. After all, this is really your heart, not a puzzle. And you are human. The point is that the hurting does stop eventually. And you should talk about it, and cry about it to cleanse yourself. But one day, you'll look at yourself and realize that it's over. You are complete. You are healed....


I mourn the loss of love
my heart has been shattered in a million pieces
I pick up each piece
and place them in a box
and patiently put it together
through tears
laughter
friends
sleep
I am healing
the passage of time makes things easier
I mend slowly
gently weaving it all together
the tiny pieces of me
through warm bubble baths
glass after glass of wine
writing out the feelings
getting to know me again
I am healing
slowly, I feel a sense of renewal
rebirth
recovery
renewed purpose
although my heart doesn't look the same
feel the same
beat the same
it is somehow stronger
I am still here
I am healing
it is not a simple journey
the road is bumpy
and crazy
the pieces don't always make sense
you will make mistakes
you will feel sorry for yourself
you will not want to go on
but it gets better
so much better
I am healing
and then one day
one day
you look at yourself
and you know
beyond all the hurt and sorrow
you know
beyond the regret and sadness
you know
finally you know
You
Are
Healed....

Do You Miss Me?©

One of my favorite songs by Brian McKnight is "Anytime". The song speaks of a lover wondering if his love ever thinks about him. We have such a strong desire to be loved. During the mourning of a lost love, I have oftened wondered if they feel the pain of the loss as intensely as I do. I so miss that person, and I want to know are they thinking about me, do they hurt the way I hurt? I spend time checking for messages that I know are not there; wishing, hoping, praying that he's called or emailed or sent a text. But he doesn't call. And I'm left to wonder, and play "Anytime". One afternoon after watching a bit of mindless televison, that thought popped in my head. I wanted to know if he missed me as much as I was missing him. And "Do You Miss Me?" was born....


I stare at my TV
blindly watching show after show
my mind racing, heart pounding
thinking of you
each time I find myself here
I wonder
Do You Miss Me?
In the quiet of your day
are you thinking of me
do you check your messages
search and hope the red light is flashing
on your phone when you get home
I wonder
Do You Miss Me?
Are you thinking about
my voice
my touch
do you long for me
reach for me
ache for me in the middle of the night
Do You Miss Me?
I want you
want to turn back the time
can't we simply go back
back when you were mine
when the world was dizzy
buzzing with our love's energy
Do You Miss Me?
Release me please
For I know it cannot be the same
you couldn't feel this way
and leave me here
because if you felt this way
You would be here
Do You Miss Me?
But you're not here
so I must let it go
let go of the missing you
I have to shake loose
shake loose the desire for you
The problem with that is
I
still
miss
you.....

Ego©

I wrote "Ego"one night after having a conversation with a friend, in which he explained how people have such crazy egos when it comes to dealing with relationships, and that if we simply let go of our egos, we would have better relationships. That was such an eye opening conversation, and I thought about the times when I let my ego get in the way, and how difficult it made things. Ego or pride can be brutal on a relationship. Why not apologize when you're wrong? Why is it so important to prove a point? You both know you're right, so why rub it in? If we each just give a little, and let the ego go....

Can you see past the bullshit
lay down all that makes you a man
entrust your heart to me
allow yourself to let go
Release Your Ego
Check it at the door
be willing to trust me
can you ignore the sirens in your head
and allow yourself to let go and
Release Your Ego
You have to be willing to love
willing to shed the pride
pride breeds probelms
Release Your Ego
Can you look at me and say baby I'm sorry
be willing to talk through our problems
allow me to have access to all of you
Release Your Ego
Sade sang it best, "Love is Stronger Than Pride"
or would you rather be alone
rather than have a queen at your side
Release Your Ego
And I'll release mine
let's see ourselves as friends and lovers
instead of adversaries
Baby Release Your Ego
Place your hands in mine
for in love we can conquer all
united we will never fall
Release Your Ego
But if you are not really willing
willing to let it all go
we'll never have the love
never have it all
Release Your Ego
In order to truly love
madly
passionately
deeply
You have to release your ego
And in that release
my heart is yours
my love is yours
Love me
Let it go
Release....

Sweet Loveⓒ

I am a hopeless romantic. In my quiet time, I long for love and loving someone. In those times, I can see him, feel him. At times I am overwhelmed by saddness, because I want it so bad. But I know I am in this space right now for a reason, and I allow myself to experience the longing. Because I would rather be alone and longing, than be in a situation where I am alone and longing - or completely unhappy. As I embrace the good and bad of my Love's Journey, I also embrace the longing. It's easier to think about what you want, rather than what you had. Because in the longing, you can define more of what you want. And don't you want to attract more of what you want? So close your eyes, and dream about his or her Sweet Love....

I feel my lover's hands as they softly glide across my body
He knows every pleasure point
I close my eyes to take it all in
I shudder at the touch of his lips as they brush mine
I ~ feel his energy
His breath
His hardness
His life force
I feel my lover's body as we slip between the soft sheets
He enters me and I open legs wide, heart wide
I open my eyes to take it all in
I shudder at the touch of his tongue as it brushes against mine
I ~ feel his energy
His breath
His hardness
His life force
I feel my lover's heart pounding,
love calling, calling my name
I close my eyes to take it all in
I shudder as we reach for the stars
He empties himself of all of his love
And I receive it
I ~ feel his energy
His love
His love
His sweet, sweet love

Love's Journeyⓒ

I wrote this late one night while I was pondering all the various things I've experienced about love. I believe there are lessons to be learned from every experience. The next time you think about your past loves, think of the positive aspects, instead of focusing on the negative. It will help you to create a whole person moving forward. After all, you are a whole person created by your life's experiences. They don't define your story, but your story is made up by the sum of all that you've experienced. Why create a story from the bad parts?

As I lay here in my bed,
I travel the hallways of my mind
music floats all around me
I close my eyes and ponder the sweet musings of my love memories
The notes of my love's journey
My first time ~
and the awkwardness of not knowing what to do
the sense of fear, pain and pleasure
I long for the innocence of that moment
and the simplicity of first love
My first real love ~
and the understanding of being truly loved
the sense of experiencing true bliss
I long for the energy and desire of that moment
and the simplicity of pure love
The hallways contain snapshots of other times
First kiss
First true pleasure
Firsts ~ Lasts
Each experience of my love's journey rolls into a ball of joy
thus creating the sweet music that plays in my heart
The chords of my melody
are created from each experience
no note can be left out
I am a complete woman
because of my love song
I am a complete woman because of my love's journey

The Beginning

My journey into the world of poetry came unexpectedly. I was going through the emotional self torture of a a very bad break-up, with all it's physical and emotional strife. I felt like I wass in a nightmare that would never end. I would cry endlessly, along with all the classic things you do when you are hurting. One day at lunch, a friend unexpectedly shared with some things to do to get through the phase, including the suggestion that I start a journal. I was willing to do anything, and so I got out a beautiful pen and journal to write. Well, I sat staring at the empty pages for days. I think I wrote in it twice. Each time I would sit with pen in hand, nothing seemed to come to mind. The lightbulb moment came one day while I was preparing to write an email to a friend. My mind had been racing for many days on end with a single thought, and on this day I so full emotionally that I felt compelled to say something in words to express what I was feeling. Once I typed that single word, it was as if the floodgates were opened, and the words began to fly across the page. When I was done, I was amazed at what was written, but more importantly, I felt better. The writing has been been such a cleansing for me, and from it I have been thoroughly renewed in spirit. I decided to share the experiences in a blog because I had several women and men who had read my writings share with me how inspired they were by them. Of course that was interesting, but not compelling enough. However, the main thing that began to emerge from everyone was that the writings needed to be shared with others. So I'm using this format to share. What you will see here are the many ups and downs of love. I write about the good times, the beginnings of a new love and the way he or she touches you, makes love to you and loves you. I will express the pain of love gone bad, and all the things we do to rid ourselves of that pain, including going back for a second dose of the bad sometimes. I share what that pain and misery feels like to our hearts, andthe longing we experience for love that has been lost, and love that is come. And finally, I write about rising from the mourning, self loathing and misery. The ending is actually what I feel is the beginning, because we have the opportunity to start a new love chapter. This is not an easy process, but it's worth it. We get to redefine who we are, and what we really want in our lives and love. You are strengthened to love again. I will not share with you ways to man or woman hate. The world teaches us enough of that. No, I believe in accepting personal responsibility for our story lines in the chapters that were written in a previous story, even if they were minor lines. This is a journey about embracing what you are feeling, learning lessons and moving on with hope.Some relationships will take you through the cycle all over again. But that's okay because now you will have a poetic road map to get you through the cycle and right back on track. Love is fun, beautiful, ugly, painful, wonderful and all the many other colorful words you can think of...but it's a wonderful journey. Love is a portrait of joy and pain.....know that you are not alone....